WHERE I STAY: FLOPHOUSES

Dirt cheap and dirty. They cost no more than 50 cents. For this I get 2-4 cot-like beds, an equal number of grease-swollen mattress, no sheets, a thermos of warm water, a cracked dish of moldy tea leaves, a lock I didn't trust, access to an (overflowing) communal toilet somewhere on the grounds, and no shower. In case you can't read between the lines, no towels, no curtains, no carpets, no lampshades (maybe a bulb that maybe works) and none of those little bottles of complimentary shampoo and body lotion). If you really need to wash you can probably get a rusty bucket of water that you douse yourself with in the middle of the floor. Theft is rampant. Truck driver clients leave at 4 am, after gunning their engines and shouting at the top of their lungs for an hour or two. If you're walking past a door and it opens unexpectedly, duck. The occupant could be emptying a bedpan. Expect roaches, rats, bedbugs, and other diminutive neighbors - that was in Northern Vietnam, where the hill tribes are. Back in Hanoi and Saigon cities, it was slightly better at least a shower and a broken down heater.